He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
