You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
