The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
