she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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