just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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