I wannas sexs uuuuu
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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