It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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