No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
