i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
