I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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