Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
