smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
