Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we're making bets on your personal life
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
