Already got asked if we're dating
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
