You really coming over, don't trick.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize