just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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