What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
