he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How naked do you want me to be?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
