I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
