OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
