Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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