Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
