i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
