So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
