I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
