she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
