Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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