you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
