My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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