I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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