smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
