Do vagina's smell?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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