Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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