she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
