Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
