No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
