i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
