Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
