Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
