we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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