What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
