I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
