Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
