Already got asked if we're dating
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
