Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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