I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
