rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize