He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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