Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
