I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
