Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
