you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
