Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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