How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
