i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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You. Win. At. Life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
