If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I need water and some morals
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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