Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
