I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
